World Domination Network

To make up for society as a being a giant A-hole, many restaurants in Dallas are providing service industry workers with food and liquor discounts in their establishments. You would think this little gesture would possibly cut down on the number of spitwads added to food content. I can't begin to describe the nasty things I've witnessed at the restaurant where I'm employed. The sad thing is that I used to care about the customers and what they ingest. Not so much anymore.

There is no love for lesbians. I'm sad. It's because lesbians just don't get out. Seriously. I'm at home writing this and will I go out later today? Probably not unless Walmart counts. But when was the last time you met a good friend at Walmart? Lesbians somehow manage to make friends with about two other gay gals and if those other gals have dyke friends, somehow the two groups meet. And that is the birth of lesbian society.

I was just checking my email and happened to glance at the news on the main page. There was something there about Lindsey Lohan's ex boyfriend selling "racy photos" of her. Dammit, I had to look. I ended up on a ten minute websurf moment looking at "information" about LindseymotherfuckingLohan. And it's not that I find her attractive or am a fan. Internet is just that addicting.

I was thinking that it would be delightful to have everyone over to the house the day Patrick Swayzee dies. We could watch Ghost.

Sometimes people in Public give me wierd looks because I find humor in the wierdest shit. Maybe it’s distasteful and maybe it’s offensive. I realize this. But do you know how many people laugh at distasteful and offensive? The answer is alot. People love a good joke particularly if it is at someone else’s most unfortunate expense.

I hate this town. I do not understand people that refer to Dallas as the big city because it's not. Dallas isn't terribly big at all. In fact, it's so small I ran into someone I know last night while we were downtown. And then I can't find anything remotely good looking in this town. It's just neon lights and cranes building more skyscrapers. It's an eyesore most of the time. I hate this town. Fuck Dallas and fuck people who are from Dallas for not having enough sense to be from somewhere else.

My mother writes a blog titled How to Dress as if You Are Famous. That inspired me to write How To Dress as if You Are a Lesbian.

First thing, girls, you need Hanes brand boy-cut underwear. This is crucial as the top rim of the underwear must be showing from the top of the sagging pants.